Week 6 of 14 — Love Does Not Dishonor Others
Love Does Not Dishonor Others
This Week's Story
I was seventeen, a few months into dating Steve, when I was asked to bring the cake to his family birthday party. I had met his parents exactly twice. So my inner baker put on her big-girl pants and made a chocolate cake completely from scratch — cocoa, flour, sugar, the works — hoping to make a good impression.
As we pulled up to the house, Steve's eight-year-old sister came running out to the car and announced, "Mom said it's probably a crummy box cake."
A crummy box cake! We made box cakes for every birthday of my childhood. I grew up on Wonder Bread, Chef Boyardee, and Hamburger Helper, and I salivate to this day thinking of Duncan Hines Strawberry Supreme with canned cherry frosting. In one sentence I went from excited to inadequate. This woman must bake her own bread. She probably cans her own pasta sauce. What happens when I marry this guy and buy noodles in a box? I felt so less than, so small. Dishonored — by advice nobody asked me for.
Here's the kicker. I later discovered Steve's mom was no Julia Child. She made everything from French's seasoning packets. At Christmas she bought banana bread from the store, wrapped it in foil, and gifted it to the neighbors as her own. We laughed about it for years, and she never did believe I made that cake from scratch. But I did. I promise.
Love does not dishonor. It doesn't size people up, talk behind their backs, or hand out verdicts nobody requested. It lets people be who they are.
Your Challenge This Week
Give no unsolicited advice for seven days. None. When someone shares a struggle, a plan, or a dream, just listen and honor them. If they want your opinion, they'll ask.
This Week, Day by Day
How many pieces of advice did you give today that nobody asked for?
What did you say about someone today that you wouldn't say to them?
Who did you really listen to today, all the way to the end?
Did anybody hand you a 'crummy box cake' comment today? How did it land?
Whose way of doing things did you honor today, even though it isn't yours?
My Prayer This Week
Lord, please help me listen, allow, realize that we are not all the same, but we are all equal. Give me discernment to know when I am sharing information or advising with expectations. Let me know when to speak and when to just listen. Remind me often I am not above anyone for any reason. We are all created in your image, and you love all of us just as we are to love everyone, without any notion of superiority but always with equality. Help me to love with a love that does not dishonor others.
Your Thoughts
How many times did you have to bite your tongue this week? What did you notice when you honored someone instead of correcting them?